3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize