You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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