I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
