what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
