peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
