I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
