Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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