There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize