Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
