i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
