Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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