I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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