does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
