none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize