Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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