she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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