I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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