so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
