Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
