My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
