2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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