508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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