; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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