I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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