How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
