this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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