come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
