at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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