That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
