I think scott just propositioned me for sex
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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