It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
