it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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