If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
