There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
