She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Who died my cat blue again?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize