my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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