the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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