and you said cock pushups were impossible
He is an equal opportunity slut.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
