Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
