She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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