Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
