we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think people are normalizing furries
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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