I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to stop coming to work sober
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
A bitchslap is in order.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
