i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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