Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The uberlube is also flammable
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
