I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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