Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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