I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
