I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
