She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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