I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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