Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Me too!

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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(301): View more from Maryland

and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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(219): View more from Indiana

Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"

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(520): View more from Arizona

So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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(512): View more from Texas

75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.

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(913): View more from Kansas

On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?

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