I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
