some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize