"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
