I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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