A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize