Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
