His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
