How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
